Beyond the Buzzword: Sustainability

IMG_0913As many of you know, I'm pretty heavily involved in the non-profit scene. My day job, my volunteer job, my past job, all were in the non-profit sector. Most of my friends work for non-profits, and I often find myself writing needs statements, crafting newsletters, and obsessing about how hard or soft to make an ask--in my sleep.Lately my do-gooder friends and I have been talking a lot about non-profit philosophy, asking questions like, "Why are non-profits defined by what they don't do (make money) instead of by what they accomplish? When is a non-profit really self-sustaining? Is sustainability even the point? Aren't we supposed to work ourselves out of a job?" My head is swirling with unresolved questions and answers and ideas, which means, per usual, I will be attempting to work them out by writing them out. And so write, I did. A couple days I ago I shared my thoughts on one of today's biggest buzzwords, sustainability, on the SERES blog, an incredible non-profit where I'm spending my days here in Guatemala.IMG_2457I write,

"The big buzzword in both the development world and the green movement today is sustainability.If only we could get our development to be sustainable, our lifestyles to be sustainable, our projects and impacts and businesses to be sustainable.But from where I live in Guatemala, I look around at the shoe shine boys in the park, dark polish staining their hands, at the families who curl up to sleep outside, at the little girl selling sweets to tourists during school hours. I look at the horrifying statistics of poverty and malnutrition in the region and wonder who in their right mind would want to sustain or preserve, protect or conserve, this status quo.Instead of focusing on sustainability, shouldn’t we first work toward creating a quality of life that’s worth sustaining?"

Check out the rest of the post, Beyond Sustainable, here.I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas and non-tax-deductible two-cents on the topic of sustainability and world-building and do-gooding, whether here on Memoirs of Algeisha or over at SERES.How do you help build a world that's worth sustaining? Do you think sustainability should be our ultimate goal as non-profits and businesses, as  families and individuals? What's your experience with the non-profit world? 

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A Surrender to Structure

“Create structure for yourself. Make sure you establish a rhythm.”

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I was told this before I ever even left my job. Everyone pointed out the need to set a schedule or rhythm for life without a 9-5 obligation. Or else I’d go crazy, they said. Even my spontaneous, whimsy-loving friends told me this.

And yet I didn't.

Somehow I felt like setting a schedule was penning God in. After years of nothing but a predictable schedule and responsibilities and not a moment to spare, discipline and order were the last things I wanted.

I thought it was a great opportunity to learn to experience God and purpose outside of structure and a defined role.

But I've been floundering. I’ve been unhappy. I've felt disconnected--from God, from myself, from what I'm passionate about.

Turns out I make a terrible free spirit. Instead of feeling free, I've felt disoriented. 

I've written it before: the need to write and pray as a discipline, for my own sanity, even when I don't feel like it.

But it felt like a concession. A last resort to implement only if God didn’t show up without the discipline.

So I didn't do it. Not as a discipline. Not consistently.

If I didn't feel like it, I didn't do it. 

And, most of the time, I didn’t feel like writing or praying. I'd rather read in the park or go salsa dancing or sleep in. 

I realize now my faulty thinking. Of course God can show up without discipline. Of course God can show up in chaos. But the whole time He was calling me to seek Him even when I couldn't feel Him. To peel my eyes open even when I couldn't see Him.

He was calling me to show up. To be faithful in the small things.

So, after eight months of just going with the flow, I’m giving up. I’m giving up my unspoken commitment to structure-free living. I’m giving up my resentment of discipline.

It's not a concession. Or a refusal to believe that God can show up in the chaos. It's an act of obedience. The obedience He's been calling me to all along.

Even when I don't feel like it, I will do it. I will get up early. I will pray. I will write. I will set a rhythm of life that will help me seek Him.

I will be faithful in this small thing.

***

Is a there a small thing that you have been resisting? Do you have a daily rhythm or structure that leaves space for seeking God? What is it? 

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T.S. Tuesday: Love on the Move

photo (65)Thankfulness rises and catches in my throat. So many broken things being made new. Joy being restored. Love revealed.T.S. Eliot writes, "Love is itself unmoving, Only the cause and end of movement."  I don't know if I agree. I see Love moving. But perhaps it is the movement that I see, and Love the cause and, I hope, the end.Someone I love so much is seeking to grow in love and self-acceptance. Has boldly declared the words:Who I am as a person will not change. The things I like, what I enjoy, what I do will not change. But what will change is that I will love myself more. I will accept myself more.And my heart overflows because I want to yell scream shout "be careful what you write because those words just may come true--those unconscious prayers leaking through your fingertips."I write it, too. I've written it, too. In journals and post it notes and napkin slivers and emails to myself.photo (64)I love you. I love you. I love you. And somehow those words, snuck in to an internal world of doubt and self-hatred, are enough to let the light shine through.Be careful what you write, because it might just come true.And what a joy that would be. A love revelation. A freedom to be comfortable in your own skin. A love that transforms from within and can't help but spill out.Could my own journey of loving myself more lead others to love themselves more?It's too much. Thankfulness rises and catches in my throat.And I have to say, Love is on the move.

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